


ugly

by memefucker69



Series: Let's Fall in Love [kaisoo drabbles] [16]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Murder, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memefucker69/pseuds/memefucker69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You said they make fun of your body. Well, I'm gonna find them. Don't you worry.</p><p>I'll make sure they're really fucking sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ugly

**Author's Note:**

> 1.1k, romance/angst  
> warnings: colorism/homophobia, bullying, body shaming, mentions of rape

Jongin is six when it first happens.

He curls up in the corner of the elementary classroom as he remembers how the other kids had poked and prodded at the skin of his arms. Tiny bruises form from how they pinched him, grinning and taunting him for his skin. It’s dark. Jongin knows that. He likes the sun, and he liked the color until now.

“It’s dirty! You’re dirty and poor!” One of the boys had laughed.

“Go take a shower, Jonginnie!” Their giggles echo in his ears as he remembers how they pushed him towards the bathrooms.

Stroking along the surface of his arm, he stares at the caramel color with tears running down his cheeks. It’s fine. He tells himself. They’re just joking. Everyone else thinks it’s funny. He should think it’s funny too. He’s seen people on T.V. crack jokes about people with dark skin all the time. It’s funny.

It’s hilarious.

Later, he asks the teacher if he can go to the bathroom, and Jongin scrubs at his arms and face in the sink.

 

When Jongin is thirteen, they start to call him ugly.

He has no friends. No one wants to be friends with the quiet dark kid. They say his nose is weird and his lips are fat. They talk about his clothes, about how they aren’t as nice as everyone else’s even though Jongin’s mom always calls him cute and helps him pick out nice clothes that they can afford. It’s just him and her, and Jongin knows they aren’t exactly well-off. But he likes his clothes. And they make fun of him for liking ballet. _It’s a girl thing, Jongin._

All the boys in his class have girls that look and talk to them, ask them to be their boyfriends. But no girl approaches Jongin. Not that it matters to him when he’s gay, but he doesn’t want anyone to know that. Being the gay dark kid would be even worse. But it would be nice to have someone tell him it’s fine to be the way it is.

It’s not fine, Jongin knows that. Fair-skinned people have friends. Fair-skinned people don’t sit alone in the classroom to eat their lunch.

 

Jongin is seventeen when he meets Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo is new to their high school. He’s quiet like Jongin is, but everyone likes him because he’s really nice. The first thing Jongin notices about him is that he’s pretty and fair-skinned. That’s the first thing he notes about anyone, but Jongin can’t hate him. Kyungsoo really is nice. But he tells himself he can never go near Kyungsoo. He’d make fun of Jongin like anyone else would.

Kyungsoo approaches him. In the library, he asks to sit next to Jongin to study. When they get assigned a project in class, Kyungsoo picks him as his partner. Kyungsoo asks for his phone number. Kyungsoo invites Jongin over to his house to hang out, and he actively texts Jongin. Kyungsoo’s friends leave him because they don’t know why he hangs out with Jongin, but Kyungsoo tells Jongin they can fuck right off. He doesn’t care because he likes Jongin.

He doesn’t understand why Jongin cries at that.

 

Jongin is nineteen when he kisses Kyungsoo. They go to the same university, live in the same apartment, and Jongin can’t control his feelings anymore. He instantly freezes up afterwards, but Kyungsoo kisses him again and smiles at him. He says he’s been waiting. He kisses him again and again until Jongin feels all warm and fuzzy inside. He loves Kyungsoo.

But Kyungsoo doesn’t understand when Jongin shies away from any touch that sneaks up his shirt or changing in front of Kyungsoo. He never comes out without a shirt on, and he doesn’t like it when Kyungsoo’s eyes linger on any part of his skin. He asks Jongin what’s wrong.

“I’m...I don’t like my body,” Jongin admits quietly. “It’s ugly. My skin is ugly, a-and I’m all...soft down there. I’m not pretty and abs-y, not like you.”

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo takes him into his arms. He’s not exactly unaware of Jongin’s insecurities. He knows kids were mean to him back in the day. “You’re beautiful. I’d love you no matter what you look like or what body you have, but you’re beautiful. And I like your skin. It’s warm, and it just shows you how much more the sun loves you compared to anyone else. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

Jongin tears up, face twisting as he tries to control his emotions, but he ends up curling up against his boyfriend and crying into his neck. Kyungsoo holds him close, letting Jongin cry. He wonders why anyone would want to break someone so beautiful and pure.

 

Jongin is twenty-one when he comes back to their apartment roughed-up and broken.

Buttons on his coat are missing, there’s bruises on his arms and cheek, blood on his lip. He shudders as he stands in the doorway, eyes watery, and scared when he looks Kyungsoo in the eye. There’s a hole in his black tights on his thigh that wasn’t there before. He had been coming home from the dance studio late.

“Ky...Kyungsoo…”

“Jongin, oh my god, Jongin,” he rushes forward. “What happened, baby? Oh my god.” Kyungsoo takes his bag from his hands and shuts the door behind him. Jongin crumples against him.

“I was...I was w-walking home…I was just….I was walking h-home, Kyung-soo.” Jongin hyperventilates in broken sobs against him. “They...from school...They noticed m-me…I-I said no...and-and then they… _Soo_.”

Kyungsoo feels his heart stop, and he holds Jongin close, listening to him sob and shake against his shoulder. His mind blanks, and his soul aches. “Jongin...Jongin..” He embraces him as tightly as possible. “It’s okay, baby. Oh my god, you’re okay now. You’re fine, Jongin. You’re fine…”

He repeats it until Jongin says he wants to take a bath, and Kyungsoo has to stop his boyfriend from rubbing his skin raw with soap. His heart breaks as the tears don’t stop running down Jongin’s cheeks. How dare they. How dare they do this to him.

He doesn’t fully snap until Jongin murmurs quietly, “A-Am I ugly now, Kyungsoo?”

And he holds Jongin all night, letting him cry himself to sleep while Kyungsoo mulls in anger. He doesn’t know who these fuckers were, but he’s going to find out. He won’t just make sure they’re really fucking sorry; he’ll make sure no one can ever touch Jongin like that again. No one will hurt him again.

 

Kyungsoo is twenty-one when he kills two men. He chokes them to death in that same fucking alley they hurt Jongin in. He shows no mercy, and he dumps their ugly bodies in the dumpster where they belong.


End file.
